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Deep into your
Monday morning routine, you are silently grumbling, “Where is Martha?
We’ve got a
major project to complete and present at the end of the week.” Magically,
your phone rings with the missing Martha on the line.
Martha is not
so cheery; her call is loaded with bad news. Over the weekend, her aging
mother fell and fractured her hip. Her siblings expect her to be the front
person for care, after all, they live in other states. She tells you that
she will carry her laptop with her and stay in contact to assist with the
project.
Being
empathetic, you wish her and her Mother well, but your gut says this is not
good—she is basically out for most of the week; you’ve got a deadline
looming; Martha’s input was/is critical to the success of the presentation
and the odds are that you are now a solo act; and, that this could just be
the beginning of major demands on her time and energy.
Time and Money
Katherine Carol
is a business and organizational coach and consultant who works with
companies by helping them focus on what matters most (
www.tangoresults.com ). Based in
Denver, she states, “Caregiving costs for employees adds up to big bucks.
Martha is the “typical” caregiver—a woman in her mid-forties and employed
who will spend 18 hours a week caring for a family member.” Carol also adds
that one in five caregivers provides “constant care” or at least 40 hours a
week, nearly two-thirds of caregivers are working full or part-time, and
over half have had to make adjustments in their schedules including taking
time off, coming in late, dropping back to part time and quitting work.
CareGivers.com
reports that there are 22.4 million US households involved in family care
giving The total un-reimbursed expenses for all these caregivers are in the
neighborhood of $1.5 billion and the lost wealth will be nearly $700,000 in
that individual’s lifetime as a caregiver. This lost income results in fewer
contributions to social security and reduced contributions to pension funds.
What is not
figured into this is the increased medical care for caregivers as the toll
of stress-related illness adds up over time. It’s huge—unpaid care giving
for ailing adults are estimated at $200 billion per year.
Workplaces lose
productive time from valued employees who were reliable and able to give
that extra push when necessary to get jobs done. The challenge becomes how
to create stable and predictable supports while providing answers in an
unpredictable cultural and personal crisis.
The Stress Factor
Last summer,
my beloved Heart Mom died. Joyce was the primary caregiver for several
years when husband Bill was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Not wanting others
to know that he had it, or how much home life was deteriorating, she bore
the great burden of his care. She avoided any discussion about his
condition, often making excuses for it. Family members begged her to get
help. I distinctly remember a phone call with her when I told her that I
feared that the stress would take her before it ever did him. A year before
her death, she finally got some help when he turned violent and the
situation couldn’t be ignored. Bill was placed in a facility specializing
in Alzheimer’s. It was too late.
Do you know a
caregiver? My guess is that most of you do, or have known someone in this
position. You know them by the circles under their eyes, and the sense of
isolation and foreboding floating around them as the cloak of hopelessness
covers their broad shoulders. It’s common for them to deny, as Joyce did,
that things are tough and sometimes overwhelming.
Chances are,
all of us in our lifetimes will experience either being the caregiver or
being the cared for, even if for a short while. So, what do we do? We deal
with the reality and we get busy preparing for the inevitable.
As business
people you are good at planning; you just have to figure this new scenario
into your strategic planning. What if a key person is out for an extended
time, or frequently has to miss key appointments? Katherine Carol recommends
for employers to—
on the employee.
so that the employee’s talent remains focused where it is needed at all
times.
For you, don’t
put off having “the” family discussion so that the responsibility of care
giving doesn’t fall on one family member. Also—
-
Build your
support network—someone to “care for the caregiver”
-
Have a
confidant that you can talk to about the stress of care giving.
-
Create a
care-giving plan so you can better manage your time, paid
Caregiver’s time and the needs and desires of the individual who needs
the care.
There are no
quick fixes. It does mean doing things differently than before. It does
mean negotiating with employers, even your staff, to meet your needs and
reach their goals.
It is good to
care for and honor our loved ones; it is a gratifying journey that forces us
to grow in ways we couldn’t have anticipated. And, if you are the caregiver,
taking care of you.
©2003 The Briles Group, Inc.
All Rights Reserved.
Dr. Judith Briles has written over 20 books, including
Zapping Conflict in the Health Care Workplace and The
Confidence Factor—Cosmic Gooses Lay Golden Eggs. She can be reached at
303-627-9179 or emailed at
Judith@Briles.com. |
