What do you do when you feel that your career may be flushing down the
drain? Hit the Internet sites with an updated resume—after all, everyone
knows that there are zillions of jobs posted, right?
Start calculating how much time you’ve accrued when the ax falls—with
accumulated sick and vacation time, the company is bound to give you some
severance.
How about calling Dr. Laura—she’s capable so summing up your situation in a
nanosecond.
Here’s another way—look in the mirror and have a serious chat with you.
A few weeks ago, I got an email from an executive with a publicly held
company. She had followed several of my columns and wrote that her business
life was not so good. In the last few years, she’s found that she no longer
speaks up at meetings, that her leadership skills are tarnishing and that
she doesn’t have any faith in herself. She seriously wondered how long she
would be able to stay employed.
After some coaching via email, I encouraged her to get my book, The
Confidence Factor—Cosmic Gooses Lay Golden Eggs. Two weeks ago, I got this
email. With her permission, I’m sharing it with you—
Well, I got your book as you recommended and I read it. This week, it was
the first thing I would do every morning from 6 to 8 before I would start
work. I also used the book for journaling thoughts and ideas about what I
was going through right now. I really enjoyed reading the stories and the
specific points you made really hit home. Here are the actions I have either
already started to take or that I am planning to take:
Surround myself with people I respect and are positive. Mentally reinforce
all my good qualities and make sure I show those qualities to others every
day.
Admit it when I have failed and move on. Be smarter the next time.
Do more things to impress myself and don’t worry about the need to impress
others so they will like me more.
I don’t need to be in control of everything all the time.
Realized that sometimes when people act like they really don’t get what I
just said, it doesn’t make me wrong. It could be because they are not ready
to hear what I have to say.
Make a list of my accomplishments and the best experiences I have had in
life so far.
Treat others in a way that helps them to feel better about themselves.
A week after I got the above email, another arrived. My writer continued—
I wanted to let you know that I did very well in a meeting yesterday. I
didn’t hold back my comments and opinions. It was a very important meeting
(the future of our department) and I was pleased with the outcome. At one
point, I expressed an opinion that no one agreed with. I laughed and said to
myself, ‘Well, at least I helped them become very clear about what they
don’t want.’
Before the meeting, I was still nervous and almost avoided attending. I
still have much work to do before I regain my confidence, but at least I am
on my way.
Confidence is the power to create the regard, the appreciation, the caring
that you have for you.
In a word, confidence is the reputation that you have for you. It’s not
genetic; it rarely comes from having the ideal environment. It comes for the
school of hard knocks, Life 101, making mistakes, and failing (and getting
back up). It comes from living, not hiding in the shadows when problems and
negative events surface and the ability and willingness to look in the
mirror and be honest with yourself.
# # #
© 2001-2005 The Briles Group, Inc. All
Rights Reserved.
Dr. Judith Briles is a Denver based award winning author, keynote speaker
and consultant. Her books, The Confidence Factor, Woman to Woman 2000:
Becoming Sabotage Savvy in the New Millennium, Money Smarts and
Zapping Conflict in the Workplace have all won business awards. Dr.
Briles website is www.Briles.com
and blog at
http://DrJBriles.blogspot.com. She can be reached at 800-594-0800
or e-mailed at Judith@Briles.com.
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